Save Myself

Smooth Jayy
2 min readApr 20, 2020


That day that you cried my mind won’t let it go away, it won’t let it die,

I thought it was a sign, but all you did was leave me blind,

Was I blinded by love or was it stupidity?

A two minute hug brought back “faded memories”

I thought I was done, but how could I give up on a dream I didn’t know was a nightmare?

I thought if I paced myself that I could protect myself,

But all I did was wreck myself,

Going back to our old cycle, I played into your hands,

You recycled the strings that were once attached to my back, now I’m in a prisoners stance,

I wanted to escape but lacked the courage to take that chance,

Made me question my worth, I messed up again,

Was this what my life had plunged too,

God giving me multiple times to exit but I still stayed,

Betraying the man in the mirror I was soul played,

Now suddenly clutching both hands on the left side of my chest,

Wondering how your words could put my soul to rest,

Couldn’t believe you did that to me when I gave you my best,

I started to blame myself as I failed this test,

But still couldn’t let go even though it was the right thing to do,

Deep down I felt I still had something to prove,

Everyone counted me out so I had nothing to lose,

Wanted to know the real reason I wasn’t the one to choose,

Not realizing that our expiration date has come at last,

Who would have thought that you would be not my future, but my past,

Cutting off every piece of you I let into me,

You always had your mask on, just another frenemy,

Taking it day by day, I know that in due time you’ll feel all that you gave to me,

It could come from who you least expect so be carful how you speak on me,

I wish things were different but it’s time that I love myself,

Letting go of you is the only way to save myself!



Smooth Jayy

God Fearing Young-Adult Writer/Poet. My work consists of Passion, purpose and patience. Put your hands on these words and feel what I’m saying.